I was cooking a little
breakfast for my husband just now, and glanced at the little plaque that hangs
on the wall near the stove. It says:
Not that I don’t look at it
often…I do. And as often as I do, I say to myself, “Yep, that’s what I do.”
But this time something different
struck me. I started to think, “Yep…”, but then I wondered. Yeah, sure, I pray –
but do I remember to not be anxious?
Sometimes I know I do continue to be anxious while I pray.
Staring at that little sign, I suddenly had an image of myself praying
fervently – but anxiously. Please please
please, don’t let the bad stuff happen…please please please, let the good stuff
happen.
Please please please, don’t forget I’m here! Please please please, HEAR
ME! I implore this of Our Lord, Our Lady, and all the angels and saints –
sometimes going down my mental list of special saints and asking for their
intercession…repeatedly.
At those times, I think I am
praying without believing! It seems at those times that I doubt the wisdom of not
being anxious, and continue to worry about whatever the issue is that has
caused me to pray so fervently!
Well. I’ll have to work on
that, won’t I?
Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.
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