I was cooking a little breakfast for my husband just now, and glanced at the little plaque that hangs on the wall near the stove. It says:
Not that I don’t look at it often…I do. And as often as I do, I say to myself, “Yep, that’s what I do.”
But this time something different struck me. I started to think, “Yep…”, but then I wondered. Yeah, sure, I pray – but do I remember to not be anxious?
Sometimes I know I do continue to be anxious while I pray. Staring at that little sign, I suddenly had an image of myself praying fervently – but anxiously. Please please please, don’t let the bad stuff happen…please please please, let the good stuff happen.
Please please please, don’t forget I’m here! Please please please, HEAR ME! I implore this of Our Lord, Our Lady, and all the angels and saints – sometimes going down my mental list of special saints and asking for their intercession…repeatedly.
At those times, I think I am praying without believing! It seems at those times that I doubt the wisdom of not being anxious, and continue to worry about whatever the issue is that has caused me to pray so fervently!
Well. I’ll have to work on that, won’t I?
Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.