Sometimes what the demons
attempt in their assaults against us can be almost laughable.
The other day, they were
provoking memories – memories of hurt and anger at clerics I’ve known; and memories
of bad experiences in my parish, of maltreatment by the laity, of an on-going
sense of alienation here.
It would have been easy to
succumb to the temptation to just be angry about it all. But I’ve been down
that road before, and I know how fruitless it is. It results in nothing but
more anger; not righteous anger, but vindictive anger that only leads to more
sinful, uncharitable thoughts. And it was obvious where those thoughts and
feelings originated – so obvious that I chuckled at the demonic attempt! (They
hate that, I’m told.)
So I dropped those memories at
the foot of the Cross, as they say.
Then, yesterday, there were
more nagging memories. These memories were of isolated events in my distant
past – times when I was perhaps a little defensive, a little rude, a little
dishonest. It wasn’t the big sins that were coming to mind, but such obscure
little things that one wonders how in the world those memories still even exist!
Well, it wasn’t difficult to
see what prompted those thoughts to surface. It is amazing what the demons can
prompt one to think about.
It makes me wonder, though. If
a person begins to discern more and more easily that the demons are stirring
her up, and if she becomes more and more able to forestall those little
attacks, won’t the attacks get bigger, the challenges harder?
No matter. Our Lord is always
there with us to help. We just have to remember that. I guess the little
battles that become more easily won prepare us for the bigger ones that await
us.
Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.
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