A
brother questioned Abba Poemen in this way, “My thoughts trouble me, making me
put my sins aside, and concern myself with my brother’s faults.”
The
old man told him the following story about Abba Diosorus:
In
his cell he wept over himself, while his disciple was sitting in another cell.
When the latter came to see the old man, he asked him, “Father, why are you
weeping?”
“I am
weeping over my sins,” the old man answered him.
Then
his disciple said, “You do not have any sins, Father.”
The
old man replied, “Truly, my child, if I were allowed to see my sins, three or
four men would not be enough to weep for them.”
Sometimes I wonder about my own
sins. I see some of them, yes. But how blind am I to others? It is one thing to
sin out of ignorance and lack of understanding; it is another to sin but to
refuse to acknowledge them out of the
blindness induced by pride and stubbornness.
At times, I do recognize my own
sins when, as the brother in the beginning of the story says, I “concern myself
with my brother’s faults.” I am prone to decry the sins of others, especially
if they have done something to irritate me! But every now and then, I realize
that my “brothers” faults are mine, as well.
We may try to convince
ourselves that “I would never do that” when we see the faults and sins of
others, but the truth is, we all have the capacity to sin in the same ways. And
even if we don’t sin in one particular way, we surely have another sin that
more than makes up for that fault we have found in our brother.
Now, would someone please remind me of
this the next time I am flying into a rage over some perceived insult inflicted
by a particular person?!
Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me!