My daughter texted me from her public speaking class to complain about the teacher and say, “I hate my life.” Since I was having similar thoughts at the time, it was turned out to be a lesson for me.
I really didn’t want to deal with her self-pity. And she really has no reason to hate her life at this point. Of course, neither do I, and who wants to deal with me when I “hate my life”?!
I don’t really hate my life, but sometimes I wonder how I’m going to get through it. It’s a good life, really, but I am so tired of dogs and paying bills and pretending to be in a good mood when I’m not. Sometimes my bad mood shows, but it backfires on me. I don’t get sympathy…I just get them wondering when I’ll be back to “normal” so that I will take care of the stuff I take care of. You know what I mean? Maybe not.
Anyway…in the saint stories, the saints always leave the world and seek God in the wilderness. Boy, would I like to do that! But for me, there is no escape. In some of those stories, the women just up and left their husbands! And the monks helped them! How can that be right? I know I can’t do that.
So I’m stuck. I’m trying to Abandon Myself To Divine Providence. St. Rita is there to help me, but I sure have a hard time praying that prayer to her where I am to ask her to help me accept the lot in life that God has given me.
Sigh. Why am I so ungrateful? Why don’t I trust that He has given me this life because He loves me and it’s what is best for my salvation? Gotta try harder to remember that and act like I believe it.