Be Vigilant and Trust in God

I like this saying from the Desert Fathers [1]:

A brother said to Abba Cronius, “Speak a word to me.”

He said to him, “When Elisha came to the Shunamite, he did not finder her busy with anyone else. So she conceived and bore a child through the coming of Elisha.” (2 Kings 4)

The brother said to him, “What does this mean?”

The old man said, “If the soul is vigilant and withdraws from all distraction and abandons its own will then the spirit of God invades it and it can conceive because it is free to do so.”

I especially like that the brother asked him, “What does this mean?”!! I often want to ask that myself as I read through this book.

But apart from that, I like the explanation. I want my soul to be vigilant and to withdraw from all distraction. It is so difficult to do that when you are a wife and mother! My circumstances allow me to do that much more than most, though; I should be more grateful than I am.

I also want to abandon my will. God knows I try to do that daily, sometimes hourly. Every now and then I feel I have actually done it – for a few fleeting seconds, at least. Why is it so hard to abandon myself to Divine Providence? I KNOW God’s plan is better than mine; I KNOW that He wants the best for me. Why don’t I trust him? Why do I cling to my own will?

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[1] The Sayings of the Desert Fathers, translated by Benedicta Ward, SLG