If Only I Knew

The reading for the 11^th day of the De Montfort consecration to Mary is from the Imitation of Christ: Book 1, Chapter 25. It says, in part:

When a certain anxious person, who often times wavered between hope and fear, once overcome with sadness, threw himself upon the ground in prayer, before one of the altars in the Church and thinking these things in his mind, said "Oh, if I only knew how to persevere," that very instant he heard within him, this heavenly answer: "And if thou didst know this, what would thou do? Do now what you would do, and thou shall be perfectly secure."

And immediately being consoled, and comforted, he committed himself to the Divine Will, and his anxious thoughts ceased. He no longer wished for curious things; searching to find out what would happen to him, but studied rather to learn what was the acceptable and perfect will of God for the beginning and the perfection of every good work.

Well, I have often cried out “If only…”! If only I knew whether I am truly called to this vocation! If only I truly knew how to live it, having one foot in the secular world, and one in the world of "religion"!

So, I tell myself, imagine what you would do if you really did know, and do it. Easier said than done, of course; but still, we often do know what needs to be done, if we just think about it.

For myself, I have determined that the way to live the vocation I think I am called to is to…well…live it! That means following my Rule of Life more conscientiously, and not making easy excuses for the times I fail to keep it. 

This is what I strive for now, daily.