My retreat was “practically perfect in every way” – just like Mary Poppins. So of course I should have expected some angry demons when I arrived home. They were there, all right. I managed to deal with them eventually.
Now, though, there is the ongoing issue of my motivation. I have been finding it difficult to get moving, even though a hundred and one chores and projects are clamoring for attention. Part of the problem likely has to do with some drama in my daughter’s life – both in the social and work arenas; I keep hoping that I’ll become more and more able to limit my involvement and investment as time passes and she has been out of the house longer, and as I begin to trust her to deal effectively with her issues.
That’s not the whole story, though, I’m pretty sure. I decided today that I will blame much of my lack of motivation on the weather.
|I'm tired of this!
It seems like we have had more than our fair share of gray skies and fog this winter. I don’t mind the snow so much when the storm clears and the sky is bright blue and the sun is glinting off the freshly whitened roads and pastures. But this year, we have had snow and ice, and temperatures well below freezing for extended stretches of time…and very little blue sky to offset the grayness of mood that accompanies the grayness of the skies.
Today the sun peaked out a bit, and I could see patches of blue. There was an immediate improvement in my mood! It didn’t last long, though – as soon as the blue was swallowed up by gray, I slumped again. But I’m trying to forge ahead, regardless of the weather.
It’s an uphill battle.
Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.