Another Dog Down

I had a nice retreat…except that I came down with a cold (shared with me by my daughter), and have been feeling under the weather ever since – a full week now. I think I am on the mend at this point. That’s good, because I am scheduled to return to my favorite place this weekend for Pentecost. The cold also included severe laryngitis (literally no voice for two days), and that is improving as well. Since I’m supposed to sing the propers for the Masses, I am hoping for a complete recovery soon!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, my illness was compounded with pet-grief as we euthanized our old yellow Labrador, Misty. Misty would have been 13 years old this year, and she started going downhill fast. She has been stumbling a lot for the last few months, and has clearly been in pain, which we have tried to control with medication. She became noticeably worse during my absence on retreat. Going in and out of the house entails some steep stairways, and I’ve been worried about her falling down while trying to negotiate the steps. That started happening, too. And she was getting knocked over by our other rambunctious dogs, as well.

My daughter with Misty,
 in the beginning

So…Misty is gone now. It’s always hard to lose a pet, isn’t it?

Misty, near the end

The weather matches my mood, too: rainy, dreary. But not cold, at least. And because it is so rainy, everything is very green. My drive to and from my retreat was gray and dreary, too, but also quite pretty in a green-and-gray-rainy-day sort of way.

While I was on retreat, I started work on another dossal curtain for my spiritual director - red, this time, for Pentecost. I had to finish it up at home because I became too sick to work on it there. The main challenge with the dossal curtain is that it is just so BIG! My new 8-foot-long table at home was very helpful.

My husband, ever the supportive spouse, surprised me with a sign which he’d had made by a local guy; he mounted it on the door of my workroom while I was out of the house. Pretty cool, huh?!

Life goes on.

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.

More Ora et More Labora

I'm off to my favorite place for a few days for a much-needed retreat. I'm happy that I will be celebrating the Solemnity of the Ascension on the proper day: Thursday!

In the meantime, I thought I'd share with you some changes in my workroom.

First, I decided the little table I had was just too little. So my husband bought a full-size (4'x8') sheet of plywood and we we placed it on top of the existing table, and he added some support legs. The legs you see in the photo are the original table; the legs my husband added came after this photo was taken.

At first I thought I would just put a few coats of varnish on the painted plywood, and have a smooth table top. Then, rethinking it, I thought it would be good to have a cloth-covered surface. So...

It's working out nicely. When I'm laying out an antependium, the fabric  doesn't slide around on the table, and is easier to work with in a lot of ways. Same with the linen.

But when I have to pin, it's better to have a hard surface underneath. I took care of that with a thin piece of whatever-you-call-it that is a little more sturdy than cardboard, but isn't quite wood. It was a piece salvaged from a put-it-together-yourself desk that I had previously dismantled. I saved the pieces though, thinking they might come in handy for other purposes. You can see the piece of hard surface in the photo below, along with the sea of white that resulted from a request for 24 purificators:

I had received an order for an antependium for an altar that was 7 feet long, and that's what prompted me to go with the larger table top in the first place. And I was very happy that I had done it! Here's the first antependium I made using the new table, which is for the Cathedral in Santa Rosa:

They won't use this antependium till Pentecost, so I am trying to wait patiently for photos of it actually installed on the altar.

So that's my labora-tory. Haha.

I'll leave you now with a few pretty nature pictures:

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me!

It's Spring

Well, it seemed like spring last week, anyway, when we had warm, wind-less days, and blue skies. The high temps were reaching up into the mid-70's! I thought I was going to have to get serious about my hunt for a new window air conditioner for the chapel (seriously, it can get very warm in there during the afternoon, even if the outside temp is not too high).

But the last few days, it's been cold again. There has been ice on the water in the doggie swimming pools in the morning, and the wind has been blowing, too. This is why the locals say not to plant anything before Mother's Day around here.

Still, there are signs of the season all around. The trees are getting leaves, the daffodils have come and mostly gone.

The irises are taking off (I don't have a photo yet, but may add one later).

 I discovered one random tulip that appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the lawn. How did that happen?! I have no idea. There are actually 2 tulips, but one remained very small and never blossomed. We used to have more tulips around the house, but I don't know where they all went. Perhaps more are waiting to pop up randomly in future years. It's a mystery!

And there are baby robins. I noticed that there was a nest in the tree right next to the chapel (last year the doves nested there, and I think robins did, too). This time, I noticed the mother robin sitting on her nest very early, maybe even before there were actually eggs in there. One day, when she was away, I snuck a peek (the branch where the nest is located is just a little above eye level) and saw a couple of bright blue eggs. I was surprised at how blue they actually were.

I waited and waited, along with Mama Bird. I read that the gestation period was about two weeks, and kept thinking "any day now!" Finally, I snuck a peek again, and could barely make out a bit of fuzz. A few days more and I could see their little beaks pointed upwards, sometimes with their mouths open. A few days after that, I heard them chirping wildly for their food.

Here's Mama Bird; can you see her? Her yellow beak is to the right, and her tail is sticking up at the left.

Here are the babies with their beaks showing:

Today I peaked again, and there were three little beaks pointed to the sky.

I'm trying not to worry too much about them meeting their demise before they have even learned to fly. Last year, it seemed they all left the nest prematurely, because they really couldn't fly very well. A couple were picked off by the magpies, and at least one died at the hands...er...mouth of one of the dogs. 

I have posted a little statue of St. Francis of Assisi near the tree to keep watch, but I know it is not likely all three will survive. God's will be done!

*** *** *** ***

And...I've been wanting to post a few photos, so I think I will choose the theme of "The Moon". If you've ever tried to take photos of the moon, you know it is difficult to make the camera show what you have seen! I'm sure I would have more success with something other than my cell phone, but these turned out pretty nice regardless:

This was first thing in the morning as the moon was setting.

This was also in the morning, a little later than the previous one.

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.

Post Pascha Depression

About a week after Easter, I decided that there must be such a thing as Post Pascha Depression…at least for some of us.

The Triduum was wonderful for me, as it has been the past few years. Everything was celebrated in the extraordinary form with a handful of like-minded individuals, and we all saw that it was good…very good.

When I returned home, I didn’t have time to be sad about returning to the Novus Ordo Mass, because a funeral was scheduled for the Wednesday following Easter.

Now, ordinarily, that would not be cause for happiness in my little world; and indeed, it was especially sad, because it was a friend’s husband who had died. Their son is a priest or our diocese; he is somewhat tradition-minded, though he does not say the EF Mass. Still, he wanted to have the Gregorian chant propers for the Requiem Mass, and so it came to be. The one chosen to organize a schola for that purpose was my spiritual director, and as it turned out, the only one he could find to sing with him was me. That’s because not too many people can travel the great distances in this diocese for a mid-week funeral.

So that meant that my spiritual director came to my parish for the funeral, and he stayed in the area for a few days. And that meant that he said the EF Mass in my little chapel three days in a row! My cup runneth over!

And then…it was back to the status quo: the Novus Ordo in Spanish seeming to be our best option. Sigh. I found myself feeling depressed. Post Pascha Depression, then, is the diagnosis.

Well, I’ll get over it. In fact, the second Sunday after Easter (old calendar numbering) wasn’t bad; we went to the Spanish Mass as usual, but there was no music. That can be a detriment in the EF, but the music is so bad at the Spanish Mass that it is a relief to have nothing. I find it very peaceful.

Last Sunday was a different story; we were back to the guitar-strummers. They are not bad musicians; it’s just bad music. I sat there last Sunday listening to it, and I thought about how sad it was. These people (and the ones at the English Mass) have been playing this drivel for years, and no priest or bishop has ever told them that it is not good music for Mass, that there is something better, and that it is time for them to play the real music of the Church. No priest has ever said that to them! And so they continue on in their darkened minds, thinking they are performing an important and fulfilling ministry.

Now, I know these parish musicians are nice people who mean well, and I believe that many of them are actually fairly devout Catholics – albeit Catholics who lack a sense of Catholic tradition that extends beyond their memory of “how we’ve always done it”. This is not completely their fault, because – I repeat – no priest or bishop has ever instructed them as to the mind of the Church regarding music for the liturgy. This is just ludicrous.

And it is likely to go on this way for years.

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.

Living in the Cell

From The Sayings of the Desert Fathers:

A brother asked Abba Poemen, “How should I live in the cell?”

He said to him, “Living in your cell clearly means manual work, eating only once a day, silence, meditation; but really making progress in the cell means to experience contempt for yourself wherever you go, not to neglect the hours of prayer, and to pray secretly. If you happen to have time without manual work, take up prayer and do it without disquiet. The perfection of these things is to live in good company and be free from bad.”

Living in one’s cell is not an easy task, is it?

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

We had a little 10-year-old girl (and her family) visiting with us the other evening. She astounded me.

Her father asked to see my chapel, and suggested the girl would like to see it to. The father is not a Christian, and is only beginning to begin to see the need for a belief in God. The little girl has had no religious training at all, and did not know much more about Jesus than His name and the fact that He is associated with the Cross.

She was amazed by the chapel, and began to ask all kinds of questions. I answered as best I could, not always sure how much she knew or would understand of my answers. I made a comment in which I used the word "Catholicism", and she exclaimed, "I have no idea what that word you just said means, but I know I want to join your religion!"

After about 10 minutes, her father left us, and we continued our conversation there before the altar of God. She asked questions about Catholic beliefs, and she asked how one could know how to choose a religion to believe in out of all the choices out there. She did tell me that she definitely believed in God, "but I just don't go to church". Well, since her parents don't go, that is understandable!

I asked her how she came to a belief in God. "I had a kitty," she said. "Her name was Precious, and she was very special to me. But then she died, and I was really, really upset. And after a while I sort of got over it, but it just made me wonder...what happens to us when we die? Do we just disappear? It seems like something else must happen."

This struck me as an insight that many adults have yet to achieve! I thought of an article by Fr. Chad Ripperger - I believe it was called "The Sixth Generation"; in it, he talked about seeing an increase in the number of children who are apparently receiving graces that enable them to "see" things more clearly, to hunger for spiritual growth, to understand the faith beyond their years. I wondered if perhaps this little girl was manifesting those graces.

We talked about heaven and hell, and purgatory. She had no idea about what purgatory was, of course, so I explained that most of us need a little cleaning up before we go to Heaven. I asked her to name the famous celebrity she would most like to meet; she named a person whose name sounded vaguely familiar to me, but I didn't really know who it was. No matter; the point is the same. I said, "If I told you that you could meet that person right now, what would you do? Would you want to clean up a little, maybe fix your hair, change your clothes?" That struck a chord! Of course she would! So she then had an idea about the purpose of purgatory.

I think we will talk more. She asked how one becomes Catholic, so we talked a little about that. At this point, it seems her parents are willing for her to explore that avenue, so we shall see what happens. Pray for her, please. I don't want to mention her name here, but God will know who you are praying for. And pray for me, too, that I might respond appropriately to all her questions and provide her with material that will help her grow in faith.

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me!

Holy Week Recap

I had a wonderful retreat, as usual. We did not celebrate the Paschal Vigil Mass, due to lack of servers, but we had a Vespers service that was stellar.

I love praying the office of Tenebrae:

It seems like every year when I go to my favorite location for the Sacred Triduum, we end up with a last-minute project. This year it was a "dossal curtain"; I had not heard that term before! It is the long drapery that hangs behind the altar. The project developed like this:

We hung the dossal curtain on a wooden rod and mounted it on brackets on the wall:

The final product was used behind the altar of repose:

During Vespers, we lit the Paschal candle; we may have done things a little out of the ordinary, but there were only three of us present, and we're not talking! Generally, everything is "by the book" here, but there really wasn't a "book" to follow for our particular circumstances.

Here's how everything looked at the end:

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.