Friday, September 21, 2012

Do I Love Him?

Sometimes I wonder if I really love Jesus.

Notice I didn’t say I wonder if He love me. I wonder if I love Him.

I say I do…but I don’t act like I do. I do so many things that hurt Him!

But even apart from that, I wonder sometimes: Do I love Him? I don’t always feel those “feelings” of love – the warm fuzzies and all. In fact, I guard against that. It doesn’t seem to me that that’s the kind of “love” we should have for Our Lord. I can recall times when I felt that way, and it was back in my Protestant days.  I feel embarrassed about some of that…

Anyway…I wonder…am I so sure of my love for Him that I would be able to endure physical persecution? He’d help me with that, right?!

Silly, I guess…demons working overtime, with nothing better to do than try to plant seeds of doubt in my mind.

But a scripture verse comes to mind: “If you love me, you will keep my commandments…Whoever has my commandments and observes them is the one who loves me. And whoever loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and reveal myself to him.” (John 14:15,21).

I don’t think loving Our Lord is as much about warm fuzzy love feelings for Jesus as it is about obeying His commandments. Sometimes when people throw out what has become the rather cliché “What would Jesus do?” I want to say, “No…what would Jesus REALLY do?” So often people who ask the question don’t really know what Jesus did.

Maybe I’ll just keep trying to observe His commandments. If I have His commandments and observe them, Scripture says, then I am the one who loves Him.

Okay…done wondering for now: I do love Him!

Every morning I pray this little prayer from my Blessed Be God book:

Oh My Jesus, thou knowest well that I love Thee,
but I do not love Thee enough.  
Grant that I may love Thee more.
O Love that burnest ever and never failest, 
my God, Thou who art Charity itself, 
enkindle in my heart
that divine fire which consumes the saints
and transforms them unto Thee.

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